What Are You Really Here For?

Every person that sits in front of me before a tantric massage I ask them, “what got you curious about booking a tantric massage?”

And there are some people that are vague.
They’ll say, “oh, I’m just curious.”

Me: “Okay. What are you curious about?”

Them: “Oh, I just really feel like I need to relax.”

Me: “All right. Why a tantric massage though? Why not a regular sensual massage?”

And after a few presses, some will reveal to me and share. Well, oh yeah. Why are they here?

Whilst others will double down.
Them: “Oh, I just heard it was a good thing and I just wanna see what it’s like and if I enjoy it, then you know, I’ll book longer with you next time, or I’ll think about working more with you.”

Ah. There it is.

They’re not here to participate in this session with me. They’re here to consume. They’re here to consume, test, and judge my services as an observer from the outside without realizing that this kind of work requires them to be in the experience with me. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, even.

To be vulnerable. To be vulnerable and open with me from the beginning.

Now it’s not my job to pull blood from a stone to find the real reason that they were there. They’re either gonna share it with me or they’re not.

But it’s this gap that I wanna bring attention to, the gap between how they are presenting themselves and why they are there versus the truth of what’s actually happening. And it’s that gap that I can sense.
Some are willing to step up and own it and some aren’t. And let me tell you what the importance is, why it’s important to be able to own what it is that you want.

Because if you can’t own or put words to what it is that you want, I can’t help you.

There have been many sessions where somebody is vague, is indirect, and we move into session anyway. And at the end of the session they’ll be like, wow, that’s so nice, and I was really hoping it could help me with this, or I’m unsure how he could help me with that to last longer to get outta my head, and I’ll say to them, why didn’t you tell me this at the beginning when I asked?

And I’ll be met with a blank stare.

Now, I’m not saying that you need to be eloquent and poetic of what your challenges are, but you at least need to be able to own it.

· I’m feeling numb.

· I’m feeling dead.

· I’m feeling lackluster.

· Sex used to feel good.

· Now I feel disconnected from my body.

Whatever those words are, there is a reason why you booked. You sought me out, you came and found my website, and something stood out to you. And part of working together in co-creation is to move forward together with transparency.

And now I understand that behind all of this, it is shame. It is a flavor of shame. That vagueness, oh, disguised as curiosity, But actually it’s, I’m afraid to say what I really think and feel because maybe you’ll reject me. Maybe you’ll make fun of me. Whatever that story is.

And the thing is, the reason that I asked for you to be open and transparent with me is so that I can normalize it. Let’s normalize that conversation.

Great. You’re not lasting as long as you want to. Okay?
Well, these are the reasons why people find tantric massage helpful to last longer, and here’s how we’re going to cover it.

Now, instead of shutting down and hiding, what needs to be worked on is on the table, and I can offer steps and solutions and a way to move forward. But if you aren’t able to voice what is really on your mind, then I can’t help you.

And so that’s what we’re gonna dive a little bit deeper into the paid post this month. We’re gonna talk a little bit more into the energetic contract between consumption versus participation and how that affects your experience in the bedroom.

I’ll see you there.