What is pleasure, really?
Originally published on my Substack: Sex & Somatics with Mandy Rose, where I explore the sweet spot between language, sensation and soul.
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Hello beauties, and welcome to my very first audio drop. Woohoo!
Today I want to talk about something that often gets overlooked: what is pleasure, really? Like, what actually is pleasure? How could you define pleasure in its most simplest form?
No really, tell me. Say it out loud…
I’m so curious what you came up with.
Many of us think of pleasure as those big peak moments like orgasm, ecstasy, and being touched in just the right way. On a scale out of 10, you could think of it like a 9 or a 10.
The truth is, pleasure is any sensation that feels good.
The warming sun on your face.
The relief of a deep breath.
The flicker of your toes in soft sheets.
That tiny “mmm” that rises up uninvited.
On that same scale out of 10, you could think of it around a 1 to a 5.
And the thing is, many of us have learned to ignore those subtle signals and to wait for pleasure to be given to us, or that we have to earn it by doing enough, being enough, or performing in a particular way.
The reality is: pleasure isn’t given to you by someone else. It’s something that you open yourself up to receive and experience. And it begins with you.
By recognizing that pleasure is a range, we can train ourselves to enjoy pleasure for what it is, wherever it is. Meaning, we can experience more pleasure.
The body inherently knows what feels good to it, what feels good to you. And that can change moment to moment.
A touch that you enjoy today might feel irritating or flat tomorrow. And that’s because pleasure is sensation in context.
And by context, I just mean: what is happening around you and within you in that moment that sensation arrives?
Where are you?
Are you at home, wrapped in safety? Or are you in a space that feels unfamiliar, exposed, and distracting?
Who are you with?
Are you alone? With someone that you trust? Or maybe surrounded by people who may not feel safe?
What’s happening in your inner world?
Are you calm and present? Or is there a background hum of stress, pressure, or emotional noise?
Even things like how you feel about your body in that moment, or whether you’re carrying pain or tension can shape if, or how, you experience pleasure.
All of that is context.
And that’s why pleasure is not fixed. It’s not about doing the “right” thing. It’s about being in the right relationship with your body in that moment.
The skill lies in your adaptiveness and curiosity. To follow pleasure and see where that takes you.
So I’ll leave you with this somatic inquiry this week:
✨ How many moments of pleasure can you notice in a day?
✨ And when you do notice them, how often can you allow yourself to feel and enjoy it fully?
Thanks so much for sticking around for my first audio drop.
I’ll see you next week.
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