Why Tantric Massage WON’T fix your sex life

Originally published on my Substack: Sex & Somatics with Mandy Rose, where I explore the sweet spot between language, sensation and soul.

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hello beauties,

So I'm about to make a bold statement with my entire chest: Tantric massage won't fix your sex life — and that's kind of the whole point.

So let's talk about it. Because I see the same pattern over and over again.

Someone finds my website and they read the words “Tantric massage” and their mind begins to fill in the blanks…

“Oh, this is the thing that's finally going to give me…” better orgasms. Deeper connection. The partner of my dreams. That wild, spine-tingling, soul-shaking sexual awakening.”

And I get it. I really do. I believed that for a long time too.

We've all been fed the fantasy that good sex just happens. That someone else can unlock it for you. That if you just find the right person, or the perfect tantra technique, everything else will fall into place.

But here's the truth I share with every client:

Tantra isn’t a shortcut. It’s a devotional spiritual practice — and one that I don’t teach.

Tantra itself is a vast, ancient, deeply sacred realm. And it has been widely misunderstood and diluted in the West.

Modern Tantra, or Neo-Tantra, has adapted some of those teachings in a way that the Western mind can grasp. And while I draw on some of those threads in my own work, I don’t market myself as a Tantra teacher.

So what do I offer? I'm a Somatic Sexologist. And I offer Tantric massage as a practitioner.

And the practices I bring into my sessions — breath, presence, attunement, intention, and sacred slowness — these aren't about delivering a peak experience.

They're about creating the conditions for your body to feel safe enough to open. They're about helping you meet yourself where you are, and not where you think you should be.

When most people come in, they're carrying a quiet hope:

“Maybe this will be the thing that finally fixes me.” Their orgasm. Their engorgement. Their libido. Their shame. Their grief. Their relationship. Heck — even their self-worth.

But here's the hard truth with a soft landing: No one can do this for you.

This isn’t a performance or a product. This is a practice. And it belongs to you.

So when I hear the myth that Tantric massage will awaken your true erotic self, or that one session will unlock everything — cue the eye roll 🙄

This isn’t a service that you consume, it’s a space that you enter. Not to be fixed, but to feel. Not to perform, but to come home.

And that, truly, is the point.

So for this week’s inquiry, let the questions linger. You don’t need to rush to the answers. But if you do feel something stir, write it down. This is where the real work begins — not by being fixed, but by finally feeling yourself:

✨ What do I secretly hope someone else will fix for me?

✨What’s one small way I can meet myself as I am, without needing to perform, achieve, or impress?

Thank you so much, beauties. I’ll see you next week ❤️️

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WTF is Somatic Sexology? (and why you should care)